Pause, Breathe, & Take Time For Yourself

If You’re Reading This, You Might Just Be in Need of Some Self-Care

If you find yourself here at the Compassionate Librarian blog you might be in need of some self-care. The first thing you can do is pause for a moment and take a deep breath. Maybe you’ve been running on empty, giving your all at work, or just feeling stretched too thin. It happens to the best of us. The good news is you can take some time for yourself to practice self-care.

Some days, it’s easy to juggle everything with a smile. But other days? Not so much. Today, for example, I’m not feeling well, and managing my own energy is hard enough—let alone handling complaints, endless questions, and unexpected issues at the library. On days like this, it’s easy to put yourself last because everything feels urgent. But that’s exactly when self-care becomes most important.

What does self-care look like on tough days?
It doesn’t have to be big or elaborate. Sometimes it’s about doing what you can—even if it’s small:

• Take a break. Step away for five minutes, even if it’s just to breathe or drink water.
• Lower the bar. Give yourself permission to do the essentials and let go of perfection.
• Create a small comfort ritual. Have a cup of tea, put on music that calms you, or take a short walk around the building.
• Ask for help. Lean on your team when you need it. We’re better when we support each other.
• Remind yourself: This moment will pass. Hard days come and go. Be kind to yourself in the middle of it all.

The reality is, working with the public service can be really demanding. We show up for others, often when we’re not at our best. But self-care is what makes it sustainable. It’s not selfish—it’s survival.

So, if you’re reading this, take a moment for yourself today if you can, if not please try for tomorrow. You’ve earned it. And if all you do is breathe deeply and remind yourself you’re doing your best, that’s enough.

Sending super big hugs!

the Compassionate Librarian

How Helping Others Can Fill Your Cup

When Helping Others is Part of Your Self-Care

For some of us, the act of helping others—whether it’s assisting a patron, checking in on a friend, or simply offering kindness to a stranger—fills our emotional well. We find strength and healing in connection, and giving our time or energy to support others makes us feel good. But how do we balance this when life gets overwhelming?

Why Helping Others Feels So Good

There’s a reason helping others is powerful. Studies show it releases endorphins, reduces stress, and increases feelings of connection. For those of us in service professions—like librarians—it can be both a calling and a coping mechanism. When we help, we feel more grounded, useful, and in tune with our community.

I’ve experienced firsthand that some of my most meaningful moments have come from lending a hand to someone in need, whether it was offering support to a patron experiencing homelessness, listening to a colleague who just needed to vent, or surprising a friend with a small act of kindness. Every time I help someone, I walk away feeling a little lighter and more connected to something bigger than myself.

Balance is Key

For many people, helping others gives you a happy boost, which also supports an overall feeling of well-being. With that in mind, it can sometimes be easy to lose sight of your own needs. If your self-care only involves giving to others, you might eventually feel drained or resentful. I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way!) that it’s okay to set boundaries and say no when you need to recharge.

Here are a few tips I’ve found to Be helpful:

1. Set boundaries: Be honest with yourself about how much you can give without depleting your own energy.
2. Find joy in small acts: Not every act of kindness needs to be big. Sometimes holding the door for someone or giving a compliment is enough.
3. Practice reciprocal care: Surround yourself with people who can also support you when you need it.
4. Check in with yourself: Ask, “Am I helping because it feels good or because I feel I have to?”

Final Thoughts

If you are like me and helping others is part of your self-care, you should embrace it! Just remember that it’s okay to prioritize your own needs, too. Self-care doesn’t mean you have to stop being compassionate; it means making sure you have the energy to keep giving in meaningful, healthy ways.

Happy Self-Care,

the Compassionate Librarian

Winter Weather Can be Dangerous for Those Without Shelter

Winter can be a difficult season, but for anyone experiencing homelessness, it can be life-threatening. Here in California, we may not get snow, but cold rain and dropping temperatures still pose serious risks for the unhoused community. Across the country, the weather becomes even harsher—bitter winds, freezing temperatures, and heavy snowfall create dangerous conditions for anyone living outdoors.

Just last week, I witnessed firsthand how quickly cold weather can take a toll. An unhoused man was walking outside the library in the rain, looking exhausted. He eventually laid down on the walkway leading up to the front door. At first, I thought he might just be resting. But then he started jerking upright suddenly and lying back down again. It was clear something was wrong.

I called 911, and EMTs arrived shortly after to assist him. It was a sobering reminder of how dangerous winter weather can be and how important it is for library staff to recognize when someone might need help. The EMTs told me that it was a good thing that I had called them and explained that the man was suffering from hypothermia, a dangerous drop in body temperature caused by prolonged exposure to cold and wet conditions, which lead to his confusion, muscle weakness, and he could have even gone unconscious if he was left untreated.

The Danger of Cold Weather for Unhoused Individuals

Exposure to the elements can quickly lead to serious health issues, including:

• Hypothermia: When body temperature drops too low, causing confusion, unconsciousness, and even death if untreated.
• Frostbite: Especially in colder climates, frostbite can damage skin and tissue in minutes.
• Respiratory Illnesses: Living outside in cold, wet weather can lead to severe illnesses like pneumonia.

How to Respond if an Unhoused Person Needs Medical Help

As library staff, you might be the first to notice when someone needs medical attention. Here’s what you can do:

1️⃣ Stay Calm and Assess the Situation

• Observe from a safe distance. If the person appears unconscious, confused, or unresponsive, call 911 immediately.

2️⃣ Call for Emergency Help

• Be clear and detailed with the dispatcher: describe what’s happening, your location, and any visible symptoms.

3️⃣ Offer Assistance, If Possible

• If the person is alert and able to speak, offer them a blanket or direct them to a nearby shelter or warming center.

4️⃣ Know Your Local Resources

• Have a list of shelters, warming centers, and outreach services. Sometimes, just offering information can help someone find warmth and safety.

Take A Compassionate Approach

It’s not always easy to know what to do, but it’s always okay to err on the side of caution. Calling 911 can be a lifesaving decision. And while it’s impossible to solve the larger crisis of homelessness on your own, responding with compassion and kindness makes an immediate difference.

Remember, our kindness is really important when it comes to helping unhoused patrons. It’s about being part of the community—helping where you can, and sometimes just being a steady, caring presence when someone needs it most.

Stay warm, stay safe, and stay compassionate. ❤️

Setting Boundaries with Compassion: Navigating Difficult Patron Interactions

Working in a public library, I’ve always believed in creating a welcoming and inclusive space for everyone. Libraries are often one of the few places where unhoused community members can find shelter, resources, and a sense of belonging, but what happens when a patron’s behavior crosses the line—making staff feel uncomfortable or unsafe?

When Patron Behavior Crosses the Line

At my library yesterday, an unhoused man spent a few hours approaching several of the female staff—asking for their names, phone numbers, and even asking them out on dates. Each time he would ask, they would say NO. His comments became increasingly inappropriate, veering into remarks about their bodies and expressing his desire to "get with them." Even the male staff members felt extremely uncomfortable as the unhoused man approached them and made harassing comments to them about their coworkers. 

At first, the staff tried to brush it off, but as the encounters continued, it became clear that his behavior was out of line. Many staff members were visibly uncomfortable, unsure of how to respond, but they still continued to say NO.

Taking Action Without Escalation

When dealing with difficult situations like this, my goal is always to find a solution that protects the staff while also avoiding unnecessary escalation—especially when police intervention could cause further harm to someone already struggling. It was not our intention to harm the man, only to have him stop making harassing comments. 

Instead of immediately calling law enforcement, I thought we'd try to calmly but firmly let the man know that his behavior was unacceptable and ask him to leave for the day.

The message was clear:
👉 It is NOT appropriate to make comments about staff members’ bodies
👉 It is NOT OK to persist when someone says no
👉 The bottom line is - No means No

At first, the man brushed it off saying, “I’m just a friendly person,” We held firm and reiterated that his behavior was not OK and he had made staff feel uncomfortable. Eventually, he left the library upon our request. 

The Balance Between Compassion and Boundaries

This situation wasn’t easy. Libraries are meant to be safe spaces for both patrons and staff, but we cannot prioritize being "welcoming" at the expense of safety.
📌 Staff should never feel intimidated or unsafe at work.
📌 Patrons should know that inappropriate behavior is not OK.

At the same time, I also recognize the challenges of addressing these issues when they involve vulnerable patrons. Many unhoused individuals lack access to mental health care, social services, and community support. This doesn’t excuse inappropriate behavior—but it does help us approach these moments with humanity and care.

Lessons for Library Staff: How to Handle Similar Situations

If you find yourself facing a similar situation in your library, here are some key takeaways:

✅ Trust Your Instincts & Speak Up
If a patron is making you uncomfortable, you do not have to “just deal with it.” Your safety and well-being matter.

✅ Use Direct, Clear Language
Phrases like “That is not appropriate” or “I need you to stop” send a firm message without inviting debate.

✅ Have a Plan for Escalation
Decide in advance how your library will handle boundary violations. Options may include:

• A verbal warning
• A short-term removal from the library
• A formal ban if behavior continues
• Involving security or law enforcement only when absolutely necessary

✅ Support Each Other
Library work is tough. Let your coworkers know they have your support. Check in with coworkers after a difficult patron interaction and make sure they feel supported.

✅ You Can Be Compassionate AND Have Boundaries
It’s possible to care about serving all patrons while still enforcing rules that keep everyone safe. Boundaries are not unkind—they allow libraries to function as the safe spaces they’re meant to be.

Final Thoughts

This situation was a reminder that boundaries are necessary—not just for protecting staff, but for ensuring that everyone in the library understands what respectful behavior looks like.

Libraries are essential community spaces, but that doesn’t mean anything goes. We have a responsibility to uphold a culture of safety, respect, and inclusion—for patrons and staff alike.

Have you ever encountered a situation like this in your library? How did you handle it? Let’s start a conversation about creating safer and more supportive library spaces. 💙📚

all my best, 

the Compassionate Librarian